Sometimes I think I try too hard.
By this I mean to maintain friendships. To me, my friends are just as important as family, because they have gotten me through some, well, interesting times, and I just love their company and personalities. I always try to keep up with email, phone calls, telling people when I will be going out of town or out of country, sending b'day cards on time, etc. Sometimes I think some friends don't even care though. The question I keep asking myself is: should I keep doing this? Should I bother? Is it worth it? I am getting to the point where I am not going to send anything if they don't return the favor too. (This sounds like I am being a bitch, but for example, I have stopped sending b'day cards in the mail to people that don't send me any, and I have resorted to sending e-cards to save the money and the time.... but is the e-card even worth it if they don't remember mine?). This does sound kinda conceited, but....... : /
Don't get me wrong, some friends are not like this. Especially my best friend. She is always there for me, and always cares about what I do, and if I need advice, she responds right away. No matter if there are miles and miles inbetween us-we have managed to stay the best of friends since we were 13. : ) Thank god I have her, because without her, I wouldn't know what to do. Of course there are other friends I would be lost without too.... college roommate, other college friends, high school friends, etc. And of course my brother. We all know that. hahaha
Then there are others..... I KNOW people are busy, I KNOW people have family, kids, school, work, etc. but is there really not enough time to call a friend you have had for YEARS even for a 10 min phone call?? Once every few months even? Or send a 30 second email saying hey I am alive, just busy, and we'll talk soon? Forget the once a year birthday card or Xmas card-how about the times when there are no holidays forcing us to contact the people in our lives?
You would think with this technology we have, it's even easier to do this, but I guess not.
Sorry for being so cynical, but I had to say that. Maybe I am taking this too much to heart, but I don't think so, because I have had this same discussion with many people lately who feel the same way. Comments welcome.
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It seems as we get older, we have to learn that friendships are work. You know, kind of like marriage. Especially when you get caught up in your life and and all its craziness. And then people move away and try to set up new lives with new friends and connections. In high school and college, it's a little easier, because you see your friends every day and can just talk to them. Or if you don't see them, you're a part of the same community where you can make plans. But friendships across countries and cyber lines can be really strong if both are willing to work at it. Otherwise it just fades away until you're just more like acquaintances who used to be friends.
At least in a romantic relationship, everyone understands the etiquette that one has to inform the other that the relationship is over (even if there are some real jerks out there who don't follow the rules, they at least know them and just don't follow). There are no rules of etiquette that when one friend moves on, they don't have to tell the other one. And you're left dragging out whether they're worth fighting for.
I know I feel incredibly blessed that I'm on your list of friends you keep close. Because you are a very dear friend and I can't imagine not returning your call. Oh, and thank you for being you and being my friend.
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